Celebrating Heritage and Traditions

In an Interfaith Wedding

One in every five weddings is an interfaith ceremony.* With so many traditions, customs, beliefs and heritages being blended like never before, it is crucial (and sometimes tricky) to honor and celebrate all that we bring to the altar without compromising the beliefs of the bride or groom. Traditions are an essential way for us to recognize and remember our family’s history and guide us for the future. When multiple faiths come together in a wedding, the ceremony is a perfect way to celebrate and honor each heritage, recognizing the importance of both faiths in this union.

The Celebrant USA Foundation recommends the following do’s and don’ts when saying “I Do” in an interfaith wedding.

DO:

Have family members from each side read a blessing or prayer from their religious tradition or from their favorite poet or philosopher.

Provide translations of any rituals performed in traditional languages such as Hebrew, Arabic, Spanish, Sanskrit, etc.

Personalize religious traditions to reflect your blended family, such as creating and signing a marriage certificate that honors both faiths.

Conduct a “unity” ritual from both faiths, such as the sharing of a cup of wine (Judaism), lighting a unity candle (Christianity), wearing floral crowns connected by ribbons (Eastern Orthodox) or hand fasting (Celtic). Consider lighting four candles – one for the bride, one for the groom, and one for each faith they represent.

Create your own blessing or prayer reflecting your blended union and read it to your guests or have your Celebrant or a special person read it for you.

Illustrate each family’s support by having both sets of parents or a sibling walk the bride and groom down the aisle.

DON’T:

Step on toes: respect each family’s strong ties to their own religious traditions and tactfully and carefully explain the meaning of rituals from both heritages.

Forget your guests: describe the different religious rituals in your program and provide translations when needed.

Try to satisfy everyone: remember, the wedding ceremony is ultimately a reflection of you and your spouse. Be gentle but firm when saying “no” to your families’ requests – let them know you respect their beliefs and thank them for their concerns.

Try to do too much: you can’t replicate the entire wedding ceremonies for each tradition; your guests will be bored and your wedding ceremony will lose some of its intensity. Careful editing of the ceremony elements is key to a good ceremony – ask your officiant for assistance.

Give up! If you and your spouse truly want an interfaith wedding, don’t throw in the towel and elope because the challenge of multiple traditions and family pressures become overwhelming. You can have it both ways and start your own traditions on the first day of your new life together.

*The American Religious Identification Survey 2001